Humor Articles

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 11th March 2008 @ 8:59 AM

The word "other" is contained in the word "mother" for a very good reason. A mother does so many other things - like nursing. Both my sons were healthy babies; but when they started school, they brought home more colds and flus than PTA notices. Although they wouldn't share toys, they had no problem sharing chicken pox and measles. Sometimes my sons had fevers when they were sick and sometimes they didn't. However, as they got older, I discovered that a sickness without... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Saturday, 8th March 2008 @ 2:03 PM

A strange thing about change is that it doesn't always cause change. The cost of gas, for instance, keeps going up; but people keep driving gas guzzling vehicles. It's as if they think gas grows in barrels; and as long as the barrels keep rolling, they can barrel on. Let sleeping dogs lie - go with the flow - these sayings explain why television programmers can promote a show by scheduling it immediately after a successful one. These sayings also explain why incumbent politician... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Saturday, 8th March 2008 @ 1:25 PM

I'm tired of hearing people complain about how old they are. It makes me wonder if wisdom really does come with age. Picasso thought it did. In his later years he wasn't allowed to be alone in an art gallery because he'd been discovered trying to improve one of his masterpieces. Age used to be important to me. I could hardly wait to be six to go to school, thirteen to be a teenager, eighteen to be legal and twenty-one to be everything else. Now I'm at a point in my li... more...

Humor | By Jack Deal @ Friday, 7th March 2008 @ 3:29 PM

It's always better to avoid being downwind from pigs. My Maya friend Poot had our permission to put a couple of pigs in back of our village hut. Somehow Poot took couple to mean six. A smelly six at that...especially downwind. The bad news is the pigs he bought are of the 'Americano' variety and not the Mexican variety. The Americano pigs eat a special feed that Poot later found out make his pigs more costly to raise and so subsequently he will make nothing. more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Friday, 7th March 2008 @ 5:30 AM

Lines - of credit, of dialogue and of poetry, chorus, fishing and party - my grandmother said they all had one thing in common. They were God's way of teaching us patience. Well, Grandmother, now that I'm older there seems to be an exception to the rule. The ones across my forehead are from a lack of patience. When I was in preschool, I was taught to stay within the lines when I colored. This was meant to teach me self-control, discipline and restraint. Thank goodness Salvador ... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Thursday, 6th March 2008 @ 3:29 AM

I don't listen to music unless I'm somewhere it's played for the masses - like supermarkets or shopping malls, places where pop songs are meant to sooth us savage beasts and keep us shopping. I'm a talk radio junkie. The only time I turn my radio to a music station is at Christmas. Christmas carols fill me with feelings of peace on earth, good will to men - that is, if they're played after Thanksgiving. Every year carols seem to be played earlier than the year be... more...

Humor | By Jack Deal @ Thursday, 6th March 2008 @ 2:05 AM

Non-dairy creamer or NDC has to rank as the greatest marketing coup of all time. There really isn't another scam that can quite match up to it's simplicity, beauty and power. All other great marketing scams descend linearly in some manner directly from NDC. From every marketing standpoint non-dairy creamer makes sense. From the consumer' standpoint it is a big fake out but since the consumer is paying the tab he can do what he likes. Did anyone say visualized... more...

Humor | By Catherine Harvey @ Monday, 3rd March 2008 @ 7:48 PM

There are some strange people out there. I should know, I meet so many of them on the bus on my way to work. You have the rockers. No, not the Elvis lookalikes but the ones who are a sandwich short of a picnic, the ones that dribble and rock back and forth. There are also the strange people out there who do bizarre things like collect shop mannequins and marry them - as seen on TV - and strange people that do extreme ironing for the sake of a place on YouTube. Then there are the tr... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Sunday, 2nd March 2008 @ 8:53 PM

Perspective changes with time. When I was two, I said no because I was expressing my independence; but that changed. I didn't say no in school because I didn't want to be left out. I didn't say no at my job because I didn't want to be left behind. My grandmother said the right to say no had to be earned. When I asked when I'd earn it, she said - I'd know. When I was five or six and starting to think about age, my mother was in her thirties and my grandparent... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 7:44 PM

Although getting what you pay for is a truism that's withstood time, we keep trying to get more than we pay for. We buy on sale, at discount and in bulk. We use coupons and accumulate frequent flyer miles. Nevertheless, profit margins are rarely marginal. Even going out of business sales make money. When my sons were growing up, I thought they'd put all-you-can-eat buffets out of business; but they never bit off more than the restaurant owners could chew. When I was a child, I ... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 12:21 PM

Charles Darwin, Florence Nightingale and Michelangelo supposedly had obsessive compulsive disorder. David Beckham, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Martin Scorcesse supposedly have OCD. I know I'm compulsive; but because I don't think about it obsessively, I don't think I have OCD. I prefer to think of myself as a doer - a person who likes to get things done that have to be done. Housework, meal preparations, errands - yes, I try to get all the have-to-do's done in the mornin... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Saturday, 1st March 2008 @ 8:07 AM

With age comes experience and with experience things get easier - except sleep. As I toss and turn, adjust my bedcovers and refluff my pillow, I remember what my grandmother said about insomnia - it's not worth losing sleep over. Usually time flys. It's Monday, then it's Thursday. Because of the faster pace of life, teenagers are now experiencing this phenomenon. Yes, how fast time passes is a common complaint - unless you have insomnia. Then every minute seems like an hou... more...

Humor | By Jack Deal @ Friday, 29th February 2008 @ 3:20 PM

The simple truth is I'm not hung up on me. I don't sit around analyzing myself and what my colleagues or neighbors are thinking or not thinking. For that reason and several others, some people think I am strange, weird and enlightened. Sometimes all three. It's all rather simple because I always know what I'm thinking. And it's also partly because I already know what some other folks are thinking and don't want to know any more. And partly because ... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Friday, 29th February 2008 @ 3:43 AM

Collections are like home movies. Everyone has them, but no one wants to see them. Museums are the exception. People go to museums and pay to see other peoples' collections. My husband loves museums. He wants to see and read everything. I love seeing some things; but after a couple of hours, I'd rather see a collection of my thoughts, a chair and a snack. The Museum of Bad Art is in Dedham, Massachusetts. The Liberace Museum is in Las Vegas. Minneapolis is home to the Museum of... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Thursday, 28th February 2008 @ 11:12 PM

I have friends who have stopped celebrating their birthdays. My grandmother wouldn't have approved. She lived to be ninety-one and she celebrated every one of those ninety-one years. Granted, some years were better than others; but she'd ask me if I knew how many people in the cemetery would like to be her age. The answer, of course, was all of them. As we get older, candles on a cake can be a problem. Okay, they can be a fire hazard. After we're twenty-one there should be... more...

Humor | By Jack Deal @ Thursday, 28th February 2008 @ 10:10 PM

Recently psychotherapists and counselors have been recommending that old married couples go out on 'dates' to rekindle their relationship. The purpose of these dates is to create a sense of excitement when the fire has gone out and stimulate local commerce during the recession. In the pursuit of immense diversification potential and unlimited profits, our R&D team got together over the weekend and outlined a roll play dialogue for an Old Married Couples Dating Training Manu... more...

Humor | By Jack Deal @ Thursday, 28th February 2008 @ 5:29 AM

Before video games we kids played with marbles. There were 'funsies' where the participants would simply play for the fun of it. Then there were 'keepsies' or a type of wager where the loser lost his marbles thus introducing many an innocent child to the risks of gambling in a brutally cruel world. There were many variations in between and we played most of them with great vigor, learning a lot about ourselves and each other in the process. Fast-forward many ye... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Wednesday, 27th February 2008 @ 11:36 AM

When I was a child, I traveled a lot by train. The train cars were nicer then. The service was better and the schedules were more convenient and definitely more reliable. My sister still enjoys traveling by train, but I think her enthusiasm is influenced by her acrophobia. I limit my trains to trains of thought - but even those aren't as reliable as they used to be. When I was in school, I had to read Chaucer, Shakespeare and Hawthorne. They're not the only things missing from ... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Monday, 25th February 2008 @ 4:44 PM

Writing, cooking, gardening, dressing - we all have our own style. If everyone did things the same way, we'd still be walking and we'd still be using pack animals. If the wheel hadn't been invented, Pat Sajak and Vanna White would be unemployed. Grace Kelly, Jackie Kennedy, Katharine Hepburn, Sophia Loren - these women could wear burlap bags and still look beautiful. They personify the difference between fashion and style. Fashion can be bought. Jennifer Aniston cut... more...

Humor | By Thomas Pretty @ Monday, 25th February 2008 @ 4:38 PM

For those who work in the IT support industry there is a constant flow of funny and sometimes hilarious cases of clients who really do have no clue at all. Before you laugh too hard however please remember that not everyone is IT proficient. Often they come from a generation where machines had gears and if you did something wrong; it was a fast way to lose a finger. In an attempt to counter the thousands of mindless phone calls they get daily, software writers are considering removing th... more...