Humor Articles

Humor | By Ki Gray @ Wednesday, 10th October 2007 @ 7:09 PM

There are some myths about real estate agents, many of which are not so flattering. But when it comes down to it, realtors are not too out there, and there is a logical explanation to each misconception. Let's straighten out a couple myths and facts. Myth #1: They have big hair. Fact: Though occasionally real estate agents do have big hair, most are regular people who get up in the morning just like you do, and go to work just like you do. Many realtors, in fact, are going bald... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 11:13 PM

Bargains come in all shapes and sizes. When I was in junior high, a boy gave me a going-steady ring, which I euphemistically called a friendship ring so my mother would let me wear it. Although the ring turned my finger green just about the time we were both ready to move on to greener pastures, Sam had definitely gotten more than he paid for because the ring still smelled like bubblegum. The first time I ironed was as a newlywed; and John's highly-prized, custom-made shirts smelled ... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 9:25 PM

I grew up without a recipe for marriage. Before I eloped I asked my mother how to turn over an egg without breaking the yolk. Frankly, I'm not sure she knew. The women in my family are known for cooking up reasons to go out to eat - but I digress. My mother said if John complained about a broken yolk, our marriage would be in trouble. Well, we've managed to live happily ever after - partly because John doesn't like fried eggs. Shortly after we were married, both my mother... more...

Humor | By Ajeet Khurana @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 8:00 PM

When I need a chuckle, I try to watch a sitcom or read the funnies. When my need for comedy is greater, then I invest my time in watching a complete movie. But when nothing but the funniest will do, I just observe the so-called real world around me. The fact that this is really happening makes all the weird stuff all the more funny. To begin with, one tends to have a basic expectation of common sense from people. But the word common is misleading, as most often what we would classify as c... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 7:33 PM

When a project's finished months after its completion date or a debt's repaid long after it was due or a guest arrives hours after expected, we tell ourselves better late than never. But is it? Passengers on the Titanic, who might have been late arriving for their voyage, would have preferred to have never arrived at the dock. I don't want the Grim Reaper to be late. I want him never to come. In the 2000 presidential election the Supreme Court ruled the Florida vote... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 4:43 PM

Books are like candy. Not everyone likes the same kind. I like mysteries - the more twists and turns in the plot and the redder the herrings, the better. What I don't like are writers who take the mystery out of mysteries by summing up all the clues in the last two pages. If the butler did it, I want to follow the clues - not be treated like a clueless reader. John's genre of choice is self-help. "Is Your Working Identity Unknown?" "Recreating Yourself - Again",... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 3:22 PM

I can never say I never win anything again. I bought a church raffle ticket and won a spa weekend for two. John is definitely not the spa type, but he agreed to go because he's the free type. We went for early morning walks, late night Jacuzzis and draped our bodies over pool, lounge chairs in between. I was so relaxed I didn't discover there was a gift shop until the second day. John reluctantly agreed to pry himself from his chair and have a massage with me, but then ... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 12:06 PM

Why should I save for a rainy day? In spite of living in Southern California, I have two umbrellas. I'm more than ready. The jar of found money on my bureau isn't for a rainy day. It's what my grandmother called mad money. It's for something I don't need - something frivolous. Okay, I haven't been able to think of anything frivolous to spend it on yet. I'm a transplanted, practical-to-the-point-of-paranoia New Englander - which explains why I have ... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 11:30 AM

Life is a numbers game. Gas prices always end with nine-tenths of a cent. I want the U.S. Mint to make a one-tenth cent coin so I don't have to overpay for gas I'm already overpaying for. 7-Eleven stores started appearing across the country in the 1950's. By being open from 7 am until 11 pm, they put convenience in convenience shopping - so much convenience there are more 7-Elevens than McDonalds. Now there are supermarkets, pharmacies and restaurants that are open tw... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 8:50 AM

Life is relationships. Senator Clinton said it takes a village to raise a child. I wholeheartedly agree. If it weren't for the village of school, after-school activities, camp, friends and family, this mother would have qualified as the village idiot. As my children grew up, I discovered it takes a village to decide on a family vacation - especially after my sons learned the democratic principle of one person, one vote. Being a family of four often made it hard to get a majority vot... more...

Humor | By Bradley C Smith @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 7:27 AM

According to Wikipedia, MySpace is a social networking website offering an interactive, user-submitted network of friends, personal profiles, blogs, groups, photos, music, and videos. A big part of social networking involves personality, and thus Myspace layouts are becoming more popular by the day. To those who do not know, Myspace layouts are sort of like the central computer of your Myspace page. Myspace layouts are not hard to use, in fact anyone that can create a Myspace profile can easi... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 5:41 AM

Defining trivia as being unimportant trivializes its importance to me. I love to be surprised by who-knews. Who-knews aren't furry, little creatures that escaped from a Star Wars movie. They're the unexpected facts that make us stop whatever we're doing and say, "Who knew?" The Guinness World Records book wouldn't be a book if people didn't enjoy being surprised by trivia. For example, a woman in Illinois can pop her eyeballs .43 inches beyond her eye s... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 3:53 AM

Grocery shopping was hazardous to my health. There I was in the supermarket, struggling with an almost overflowing shopping cart that had just developed one of those go-only-one-way wheels, when a passer-by kiddingly said, "Boy, you eat a lot". Suddenly I looked at my cart differently. Captain Crunch Cereal - no, Matey, that's not for me. Double-stuffed Oreos - I wouldn't eat anything called double-stuffed. Just the word stuffed is an uncomfortable reminder of how I fee... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 3:50 AM

The rules of good nutrition keep changing. Coffee's good for me, it's bad for me, everything in moderation is fine for me. Stop! This revolving door approach to what is and isn't good for me is making me indignantly dizzy. Scientists can put men on the moon. Why can't they figure out what I can put in my stomach? If it were up to me, there'd be five, basic, unchanging rules. Rule #1 would be to eat a balanced meal. Before you scowl and complain about not being abl... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 3:34 AM

A compliment is a verbal gift. In fact, it's the only gift that makes people happy when it's returned. Verbal gifts come in a variety of forms - someone asking you for your advice, someone introducing you as a friend, someone copying what you did. Imitation is supposedly the sincerest form of flattery, which makes plagiarism flattery - but still wrong. The expression "pay a compliment" is wrong. You're not meant to say something nice to someone to... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Tuesday, 9th October 2007 @ 2:59 AM

I want to believe in astrology. I want to believe what I do is predetermined by someone or something that knows more about life than I do. Okay, I just want parts of my life predetermined - like yesterday's speeding ticket. I want my husband to believe it was predetermined too. Yes, there are times I'd like to go through life on cruise control - but I can't. There's this little voice in my head and it keeps telling me astrology is a pseudo science because it's n... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Monday, 8th October 2007 @ 2:16 PM

Along the road of life there are detours - like family. John and I discussed having a family. We read books; then we painted the extra bedroom yellow. We thought we were ready; but I wasn't ready for my life to be taken over by a little giant, who determined what I did and when I did it. When I got up and when I went to bed were in his tiny hands even though they were in mittens so he wouldn't scratch his face. Little did I know it would take at least eighteen years to get back on the ... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Wednesday, 3rd October 2007 @ 8:52 PM

Some aspects of my personal development have developed unexplainably slowly. Why did I wait so long to appreciate naps? Naps revitalize me more than energy drinks and they're more luxurious than bubble baths. Oh, now I remember why I didn't take naps. I didn't have time. Facials are another luxury I postponed too long. Why did I postpone having my face massaged with a variety of cleansers, hydrators and restoratives while I lay in a dimly lit room listening to relaxingly s... more...

Humor | By Knight Pierce Hirst @ Thursday, 6th September 2007 @ 9:51 AM

Technically compromise means "together promise". In reality, however, it means hard work. All sides have to give a little in order to meet in the middle. It's meant to be a win/win situation in which everyone accepts losing something. There's a perfect example of commercial compromise just a few miles from my house. It's called the China Hut Donut Shop. I've never eaten there, but I'm guessing the egg rolls have holes in the middle and an hour after eatin... more...

Humor | By Jack Deal @ Thursday, 6th September 2007 @ 1:23 AM

I caught a colleague doing something a bit unethical against me and called him on it. He was shocked and when he recovered he called me a bad name and stomped off. He must have thought that I would just let him continue taking advantage of me and that he was a clever enough chap to pull it off. Wrong. He picked on the wrong stooge because the older I get the less I care about offending. A jerk can't be offended,is not rational and will not give up when giving up is the rational,... more...