How to Just Get Over It
By Gloria Arenson
Many people work with me to overcome the after effects of traumas like rape, auto accidents, childhood abuse, war experiences, etc. These terrifying, often life threatening events leave them with what is called Post Traumatic Stress. They can't stop reliving what happened, often have nightmares, and develop other fears.
I also see people who suffer from another kind of trauma, and they don't even know it. They usually come in to seek treatment for something else and discover that unhealed emotional wounds from a past disturbance are contributing to their current problem. These traumas result from commonplace experiences that also happen to others who seem untouched by them.
The kind of upsets I am thinking of are: diagnosis trauma, medical or dental procedures, having your best friend move away when you are growing up, moving away from your friends in childhood, and being embarrassed or criticized in front of a group or a class in school. You may have tried to share your upset with your family or friends only to hear, "Just get over it!" You suppress your feelings, but the body remembers. Continuing to carry this stress is harmful.
Diagnosis trauma occurs at the moment the doctor tells you that something is wrong with you. Hearing "You have cancer;" "You will need surgery for this;" "We need to do more tests." Or "I think you should see a specialist;" may feel as if someone punched you in the stomach or stabbed you.
All you have to do is use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to release whatever your initial reaction was to hearing this. Start by tapping the outside edge of your hand saying, "Even though the doctor said, ______ and I felt terrified/ breathless/ faint, etc, I deserve good health." Then, using the index and middle fingers together, tap on each of these energy points for about 3 seconds: the beginning of the eyebrow near the nose, the outside edge of the eye socket, under the lower eyelid, under the nose, under the lower lip, under the collar bone, and on the side of the body about 4 inches below the armpit. Keep gently tapping these energy points until you feel calm and positive. Use this on all old memories of traumatic diagnosis moments that may still be affecting you.
Use EFT to deal with any medical or dental procedures that create strong anxiety or fear. Again, start by saying or thinking, "Even though I am extremely anxious whenever I think of: having my teeth cleaned, going for a mammogram, having a pelvic exam, getting a flu shot, etc, I know that I deserve good health." Tap as many rounds as you need until you feel unafraid.
Do you still feel sad about losing good friends when you or they moved away? Some people felt as if someone died when this happened. That loss may still be a deep pain all these years later. Take a few minutes to treat your sadness with EFT. Say, " Even though_____ happened when I was _____ years old, and I still feel sad and hurt, I am releasing that now." Tap and notice any thoughts or other memories of loss or abandonment that may surface. If necessary, tap on those memories too. Continue until you feel serene and accepting as you remember what happened.
I knew an intelligent and capable woman who held a very low paying job that was safe but boring. When she was in the second grade, her teacher criticized her in front of the class. At that moment, she made two decisions: that she would never let that happen to her again and she was stupid. As a result, she chose a life in which she never called attention to herself and never worked at anything where she might fail or be criticized. If you are still haunted by a childhood memory of being shamed, use EFT now to free yourself. Say, "Even though _____ happened to me when I was _____ years old, and I decided _____, I am tired of blocking myself from achieving health/ success/ happiness/ love etc and I am ready to let the past go. Keep tapping until you feel free. If more memories come to mind, you may want to tap them away over the next few days.
When people tell you to "just get over it!" they never tell you how to accomplish that. Therefore, most people just push whatever it is below the surface where it still smolders. EFT will help you "get over it" permanently.
About the author
Gloria Arenson, MFT, treats stress, anxiety, trauma, phobias, and compulsions. She has authored How to Stop Playing the Weighting Game, A Substance Called Food, Born To Spend, Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing, Freedom At Your Fingertips and Procrastination Nation.
http://www.GloriaArenson.com from http://www.FreeArticlesAndContent.com
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