How To Prevent A Marriage From Ending
By Sameep Shah
The issues of marriage are complex and varied as the individuals involved in this relationship. There are however, things that can be done to defuse tensions in a marriage. Couples confronted with problems in their relationship, must have a coping mechanism that enabled them to work through difficulties. Problems that are resolved to the satisfaction of the husband and wife, is the best defense to "stop divorce" from happening.
Prominent marriage therapist and author John M. Gottman, emphasis how important it is for married couples to know what's going on in each other life, to be attentive and to stay emotionally connected. This is achieved by putting forth the necessary effort to work through problems in a non-confrontational way and avoiding criticizing each other. To stop divorce, couples must be willing to change how they interact. It means coming to the realization that there are things about your partner you have to learn to accept.
To stop divorce, you will have to live with the behavior and characteristics of your partner that you find annoying. Those imperfections where he/she thrust you with their opinions, has a fussiness that taxes your nerves, shows a rude insensitivity, too full of talk, squeezes a nickle like a tightwad, must be tolerated and overlooked. These are things that you can not change about your partner.
Happily married couples have learned to accept their partner's character traits. Overtime they have found ways of coping and adjusting to their partner's imperfection. Realizing that neither you nor your partner is perfect, lets you pick battles with each other wisely. The key is knowing those things that the two of you can change about your relationship, and accepting your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be.
One of the things that can stop divorce in its tracks is, making your partner feelings and ideas be valued by you. Showing empathy for each other, having the capacity to understand the other partner's point of view, opens their heart in a way that empowers your relationship to a deeper emotional level where your partner feels you really care. When there's an effort to reveal to your partner you care, it relates to them the depth of your love.
There is no magic formula that will save your marriage. As stated previously, the marriage relationship is complex. Couples stay in marriages that others would never dream of staying in, and they are happy. What works for some married couples, may not work for you. When there are problems it takes desire and determination to work toward the solutions that you need. It will involve a commitment to listening, respecting, valuing, caring and cherishing your partner.There has to be mutual acceptance and appreciation. You may have to seek a marriage therapist with qualifications and expeience to guide you through the difficulties and toward finding solutions that work for you. If you take these steps to save your marriage, it may be more than enough to stop divorce from becoming a reality in your life.
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