Christmas - It's The Most Fabulous Time Of The Year
By Shaun Parker
I am not the first person to notice that the world turns slightly mad at this time of year. A select few grown men put on fake beards and dress up in funny red costumes and proceed to march into schools and department stores with bags full of presents and leave behind an enormous sense of excitement. People start being noticeably nicer to one another. Children go slightly crazy with anticipation as they compile their Christmas lists and young mothers embark on the perennial panic of preparing for the biggest family occasion of the year.
The whole world is touched upon with a general sense of happiness that is wonderful yet for this cynical observer is slightly unnerving. I have taken a look at the recent news reports on Christmas. Some of them are truly absurd and remind us how bizarre life can be in the modern world...
Father Christmas' in Australia have been banned from using the word 'ho' in case it causes offense to women. The word 'ho' at least in hip hop culture and many urban dialects are used as slang to refer to 'whore' or 'prostitute'. Officials in Australia have taken notice of this trend and have subsequently asked their Santa' to avoid using the word 'ho' as it could potentially cause offence to women. I don't know about you but I feel more offended by the lengths these moralising people in power go to patronise the public's ability to make their own judgement.
The Post Office announced that next they will be introducing a scheme that will help people save for Christmas. They will be able to make deposits of between 5 pounds and 500 pounds up to a yearly total of 1000 pounds.
People saving their money in this way will not be given access to the money they deposit until after November. I'm split on this one. Anything that helps people save their money and improve their Christmas is surely a good thing but on the other hand what is wrong with us? Can we not keep any money in our pocket without needing an artificial scheme to help us? Do we really have no self discipline?
Every year there is an outcry from a group of small minded imbeciles that mistakenly believe they are looking out for the best interests of everyone by trying to take Christian iconography out of Christmas because they fear it could ostracise non-Christians. This year it was the turn of American town Fort Collins (only in America!). Town officials have decided to use less religious decorations in an attempt to make Christmas less exclusive to Christians. Seriously!? It's Christmas!
The undeniable evidence that the season turns people crazy is the annual success of Cliff Richard. Every year he launches a horrendous single that smashes records to reach the top spot in the charts...every year. Don't we know any better? We all know he was pickled in 1990. We know that he was subsequently stuffed and fitted with an automated metallic frame that is controlled by a music industry bigwig.
We know that it is a phenomenally successful scam developed to rip off old grannies and we know how hard these grannies scrimp and save money from their state pensions to feed the Cliff Richard fund. Instead of making a stand and uniting with collective disgust we embrace the leather-faced geriatric. What is wrong with us?
About the author
When he is not making href="http://www.chouchoute.co.uk/page/christmas-gifts.html">Christmas Chocolates Shaun Parker looks into the bizzare effect Christmas has on us all. Devoted father to four young children he knows how exciting this time of year can be. from http://www.FreeArticlesAndContent.com
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